What "regrets only" means
A “regrets only” invitation flips the usual RSVP convention: instead of every guest replying yes or no, only the people who can’t make it are expected to respond. If you don’t hear from a guest, you assume they’re coming.
It's a useful shortcut for casual events with large guest lists where most people are likely to attend. It removes friction from the invite, but it also means you have less certainty about your final guest count.
When "regrets only" works
- Casual gatherings — backyard parties, holiday open houses, casual office events
- Large parties where you assume most invitees will attend
- Drop-in events without a fixed seat count or catered meal
- Events without per-person costs (potlucks, BYOB parties)
When "regrets only" doesn't work
If your event has any of these constraints, ask for a full RSVP — yes or no — so you have an accurate number to plan against.
- Weddings — you need an exact head count for catering, seating, and favors
- Catered events with a per-plate fee
- Sit-down dinners with assigned seating
- Anything with limited capacity (small venues, ticketed events)
- Events with custom items (welcome bags, name cards, place settings)
Example "regrets only" wording
Three ways to phrase a regrets-only request on a printed or digital invitation.
Regrets only by [date] [your phone, email, or RSVP link]
Please reply only if you cannot attend. Kindly let us know by [date].
No reply needed if you'll be there! If you can't make it, please let us know by [date] at [link or phone number].
Regrets only — [link or QR code] by [date]
Tracking regrets-only replies
Even with a regrets-only invite, you still want a single place to log the no-shows so you don't lose track. ScanRSVP lets you set up a regrets-only event the same way as a normal one — just label the form “regrets only” and customize the wording. Every guest who declines lands in your dashboard automatically, and you can assume the rest are attending.